Take your time and learn to celebrate even the humblest accomplishments. ” ” class=” alt=”How to live when you don't want anything”” src=””https://cdn.lifehacker.ru/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/BD1EE797-9DD9-4E56-BC4B-38085C619A7F_1558997125 -288×144.jpeg”>
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Everyone has periods when even simple everyday activities – washing dishes, working with mail, playing with a child – become a burden. What can we say about complex projects, creativity and new beginnings. Psychologists in this case say that a person has left the resource state – that is, he has ceased to feel stable, filled, rested.
This can happen due to illness or severe fatigue, failures at work and conflicts with loved ones, tragic events, age and personality crises, and so on. Weakness and apathy may disappear after a person has a rest, or they may turn out to be symptoms of an incipient depression and a reason to consult a psychotherapist. We figure out what to do to help yourself on your own.
Forget about magic pendels
From childhood, we are taught that inaction is always bad. Laziness is a vice, idleness is a sin, procrastination is the lot of losers. And no matter how bad it is, you need to tear your butt off the couch, get out of your comfort zone, work, engage in self-development, be active and productive. It is not surprising that, having fallen out of a resourceful state, a person first of all begins to blame himself for this.
Attempts to force oneself to work, punish oneself for inaction and stimulate oneself with threats follow. All of these are forms of negative motivation. Human resource management expert Daniel Pink argues that neither punishment, bullying and pressure, nor the carrot and stick method works in the long run. On the contrary, such an approach leads to the fact that a person no longer sees the point in what he does.
The very existence of laziness as a vice or negative character trait in the modern world is questioned.
Some assertD. price. Laziness Does Not Exist/Mediumthat laziness does not exist at all. Others believe that it is a defense mechanism that saves us from overworking. A whole tangle of reasons and feelings can be hidden behind inaction: fear of failure, lack of motivation, fatigue or illness, in the end, a banal unwillingness to do what needs to be done.
If you have fallen out of a resourceful state, you should think about taking a break and resting as much as circumstances allow. Or go into a kind of energy-saving mode and do only the most necessary things, and postpone all other tasks until better times or delegate to relatives, friends and colleagues.
Do an internet detox
In 1998, American psychologist Robert Kraut discoveredR. Kraut, M. Patterson, et al. internet paradox. A social technology that reduces social involvement and psychological well-being?/American Psychologist that the more time a person spends online, the higher their risk of becoming depressed. About 25% of social media users are affectedC. R. Blease. Too Many “Friends”, Too Few “Likes”? Evolutionary Psychology and “Facebook Depression”/Review of General Psychology the so-called Facebook depression, which occurs due to the fact that a person had to face bullying, insults or envy.
According to the American researchIf Facebook Use Causes Envy, Depression Could Follow/University of Missouri, 58% of social network users, comparing their lives with the posts of Internet friends, evaluate it negatively and feel like losers. Constantly looking back at others and reading posts about other people's achievements, you can greatly undermine your self-esteem. And this is hardly what a person needs, who already has neither the strength nor the mood.
For a period of rest and restoration of resources, it may be worth abandoning social networks. Or limit their use to the necessary minimum. The same applies to any “motivating” literature. Reading about how to earn more and live brighter is better when you have the strength for all this.
In the pyramid needsA. H. Maslow. A Theory of Human Motivation/Psychological ReviewAbraham Maslow on one of the upper tiers is the need for respect and recognition. For a person to feel good, it is very important to know that he is valued and that his deeds are important and meaningful. From school, if not from kindergarten, we get used to expecting praise from other people, and not from ourselves.
And we consider achievements only what can be measured, evaluated and presented to others – a promotion at work, buying a car, receiving a diploma. But many, at first glance, small steps that make up our path to great success, go unnoticed.
John Croft, an ecologist who has studied the life and philosophy of the Australian Aborigines for many years, together with his colleagues came up with Dragon Dreaming – method of planning personal and corporate projects. He believes that there should be four processes in life – dreaming, planning, acting and celebrating. And without the last – celebration – the cycle remains incomplete, we do not feel pleasure and recognition.
Every step, even those that seem tiny to us, is worth celebrating, not discounting.
Preparing a tasty and balanced meal is, at first glance, a trifle. But if you take a closer look, this is one of the elements that make up the health of the whole family. Half a page of text seems to be very little, but in a year at such a pace you can write a whole book.
For someone who is tired, confused and unsure of himself, it is especially important to celebrate achievements – both large and small, everyday. As an option, keep a diary of success and every day write down at least five things in it for which you can praise yourself. Even things that we used to ignore – routine household chores and work tasks – count.
This practice will help you feel significant and find a source of recognition and praise within yourself, and not wait for them from other people. And of course, no one bothers to indulge in entertainment and pleasant shopping, or make it a rule to regularly celebrate success with family or friends.
Take your time and ask for help
In difficult periods, we look forward to any bright period – a day when the mood will be a little better, and a little more energy. And when it comes, there is immediately a temptation to rush to solve a million tasks and build heroic plans. However, take your time.
There is a chance that the next day the energy will dry up again and all these unfulfilled obligations will fall on you like a dead weight.
David Burns in the bestseller Mood Therapy. A clinically proven way to beat depression without pills” says that, getting out of the vicious circle of apathy, inactivity and self-flagellation, it is very important not to rush things and start with simple things, gradually increasing the load.
He advises to write down in the diary even such seemingly elementary actions as brushing your teeth, reading or having lunch, opposite each one noting on a five-point scale how much benefit and/or pleasure they brought. Having coped with the main tasks, a person feels a rise in mood and enthusiasm to do something more difficult.
And so, step by step, he gradually gets out of the emotional hole in which he found himself. However, if you still can’t cope with apathy on your own and return to a resource state, this is a reason to seek help from a psychotherapist.
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